מַחְשָׁבוֹת אִמָא: Mama’s thoughts

Lots of planning went into moving out of NYC and landing across the Atlantic. It was something Joshua and I talked about a lot in the past year– especially during our August California trip– but there are so many steps I take here on these physical streets that I can’t help but think of the steps it has taken to get here…

We loved our apartment and our life in the city.  I tend to get intense feelings of nostalgia, so much that it can hold me back from enjoying a moment. When I am in a state of something peaceful, whether it be a day at the beach or a delicious dinner out and about, I find myself sometimes dreading when it is over that it holds me back from being t h e r e. So, I am going to focus my yoga practice in Israel on allowing myself to feel that present moment. I understand more and more what all the ‘yoginspiration’ quotes I see that speak about being in the present. It means, for me at least, not dreading when a good present time is over – while also being able to accept a not so great feeling present moment knowing that this is what is supposed to be at this moment. When I feel myself accept, or surrender, to what is happening around me – it really helps me not feel the feeling of “attachment” to whatever it is that I feel myself clinging onto.
I don’t even need to open a new tab to get the wording of my favorite quote which is by Buddha, “The Root of Suffering is Attachment”.
I dedicate my yoga practice to not allowing the attachment and nostaligc feelings I get to a place or a sentiment to take over. I allow myself to accept a present moment so that I can fully embrace it, in order to be open to what is next.
When we are in a yoga class, the body learns to accept what comes next in the vinyasa flow. For example, from a downward dog the teacher will lead us into a Chaturange pose,  a much harder posture. The beauty of vinyasa is that after a consistent practice, my body has yearned and ached for a chaturanga from the downward dog.


So this can teach me that we need to go with the flow of what life brings, even if it is harder to go to the next part.

That is not to say that it was “hard” to leave NYC and make our way to the beautiful Israel. However:: {and this is with zero complaint}:: a lot of coordinating and detachment came along with this journey. I held on to every single day at my apartment. There were times with Joshua Levi and I would be just “being us” in our home and I would cry a bit in my heart knowing that this is going to pass. Towards the end I got 0 sleep at night knowing that we are departing soon. A real mix of nerves, excitement, and a fear of the unknown which I have never handled well.
Here I give credit to the teachings of yoga because I have learned that the unknown is OK!
During my pregnancy I drove myself crazzyyyy because my anxiety peaked by the unknown of having 0 clue what to expect when expecting.
Almost everyday I would ask Josh to sing to me… “dont worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright!”
This song, coming from my husband, means more from him than hearing it from Bob Marley, for 2 reasons:
1. Josh hardly ever sings so when he does, I LOVE IT!
2. I know that he truly means it. I envy Josh because he sees situations as no matter what it is, we shouldn’t worry because it’s gon be alright….